I'm #1 at being #2: Stepping back and redirecting my path.

Over the last few weeks, I've spread myself thin. So thin, that I've neglected things that I love and enjoy. Why? To be successful. To be ahead of the game. To be that person that everyone loves to have around. I just want to be that awesome person that is successful and just seems to attract good things to them. But let me tell you, it's all just too much work. Like, wayyy too much work. You know, sometimes, when you try to focus on things that aren't really you, you find out that it detracts from your life. It stresses you out and creates a great big mess. Then, it places doubts in your head and makes you think twice about how good you really are. For some reason, over the last 3 months, I've applied for over 10 graduate positions, worked 4-5 jobs at a time, balanced work and fun and family time, and lost to myself on many different levels. In the end, I was a finalist for three grad positions, only to be told that I was a very qualified candidate, but that the 'chemistry' just wasn't there (Which hurt. One response like that wouldn't be so bad, but three?? No Beuno). Ended up moving in the midst of a second 60+ hour work week (Between three jobs), which was oh, so enjoyable. Then, to top the cake, I  killed my mirrored dresser. Yep. The top of it is smashed to all holy hell. That's seven years of bad luck, which, with my luck lately, will be just the same stuff, different day. And I'm tired. So tired.


And WAHHHHH. Okay, pouty session over!

{Turns out there was an absolutely perfect position for me that opened up a couple days after that happened. I am applying--- Once again! Wish me luck!!}

It's time for revival, rejuvenation, and refocusing of my wants and needs! 

Here's what I'm thinking:

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Appearance wise, I want to work on being more 'put together'... Whatever that means, right? I mean like the little lady shown above. What I'm going to be defining this as on my end is a rocker chic/ boyfriend/ boho vibe with lots of comfort and I-don't-care attitude. That means lots of purposeful tees, comfy jeans, and sneakers with some awesome jackets, etc.  I want the tomboy-next-door-that-could-totally-kick-your-ass kind of look. But I'm flexible.

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Also, this means staying on track with eating healthy and working out 3+ days a week. It's another goal of mine to slim down more (I'd love to be down to a size 6 someday) and feel healthy and happy! Oh and getting some awesome sneaks like these Nike SB Stefan Janoski Digi Floral Nikes. I love. I need.

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I'm refocusing my design aesthetics when it comes to my own design work. I'm going back to my roots, so to say, and focusing more on the Rustic Modern and Country Living type of styles-- of course, they're still going to have more of an edge and Trissta style, but I'm finding myself less and less attracted to the stark minimalist modern styles. They're too harsh and much too high-maintenance for me. I still love and appreciate them, but it's time for me to admit that's not who I am.

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I'm also going to focus on bringing the two things I love the most together-- Indoor and Outdoor design. Yes, you heard me right. I want to combine interior design with landscape architecture. I know, you'd think those things would go together so naturally, but really a lot of people don't take both of them into consideration when doing a design. This is my declaration to do so from now on.

Oh yeah, because I want to create sustainable landscapes that mimic natural systems and really get things to work well together. Like these babies...

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And that's the end of my sad, sappy story for today. It feels so good to be back!

Much Love,  T

2 comments:

Jane Droll said...

girl you have been through the ringer! i am glad you made it through, and now you have new focus. and you are never short on determination!

p.s. love your plans for the future! whee!!!

{Kecia} CoutureZoo said...

I'm a couple of days behind on my blogs... Was so excited to see your return! But then was sorry to hear about your bumps in the road. I'm not worried though...you're one bad arse mamma jamma so I know you'll be just fine! Know that I'm thinking of you and sending hugs from across the pond! Looking forward to thrifting with you one day! ;)

xx
K

 

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