I'm about to start Grad School... Again... Next week. And it's scaring me to death. I screwed up last time, so knowing that this is the beginning all over again, it's just putting me into a tisy. There's part of me that wants to kick myself in the ass for doubting myself, and then there's another part that's telling me that I could fall on my face all over again. I guess that's what being a student is all about... doubts and proving yourself wrong. I want to prove myself wrong so badly. So so badly. Yet, there's that stupid little nagging voice telling me it's doomsday and I better duck and cover. It's all just killing me. Slowly, but surely. I've been meaning to set some goals to help me get through this school year, but I've been my usual self and put it off.... time and time again. But not this time. I've sat myself down and told myself I can't move until they're all out of my head and on this blog. A bit of self torture never hurt anyone, right?? Here it goes...
Goals for the next 12 months
1. School. I need to stay focused on school. My goal is to find ways to make my classes more interesting to me. I no longer want to be a jack of all trades, I want focus and to become a master at my trade. (Geez, this sounds like a really bad Karate movie sequence.)
2. Money. I need to save more of it. My credit card has racked up a bill and I need to take care of it asap. I hate owing people money, so I should be more creative with finding ways to save money.
a. Shop exclusively for second hand items, with some exceptions (mainly being underwear and bras. Ewwww.) Begin to experiment with sewing and altering found/thrift store items.
b. Find alternative ways to make extra money (donate plasma, beer wenching at the football games, etc)
3. Self awareness. Ok ok, this one needs some explaining. In the last year, I've yo-yoed in life. Not in just like my eating habits, etc. but with relationships, my weight, my education, and so much more. I want to be more self-aware of things that stress me out, things that make me moody, things that make me feel good. I need to pay more attention to me and my body and how it works. What makes it click. I've always just done what people have told me to do, until now. Now, it's all me.
And that's it. Right now, I think that's all I can really handle. Seriously. Yep. That's it.